"Oftentimes, in order to open ourselves up to that deep, enriching love, we need to be broken apart first. After all, there isn’t any way to know what love is until we can truly understand what it isn’t."- Kate Ross (Elephant Journal)
There is an abundance of energy in the Universe this month. I am not an astrologist; however, I can feel my body, mind, and soul being deeply affected by it. Lately, I have been extremely tired, overthinking, having vivid dreams, and most of all having this desire to setting down and fall in love.
This week started the Summer Solstice on 21st and the Super New Moon was yesterday! This combination of solar and lunar energy enhances the ‘Light’ energy from the sun. This energy represents our ‘outer-world,’ our identity, our personality, and our ego. It shows us how we can ‘shine our light’ out into the world, and offers us strength, courage, and illuminated insight of our soul.
This Super New Moon moves under the astrological sign - Cancer. This zodiac sign is the first water sign ruled by emotions, and the moon helps to bring about intuition and nurturing growth. Cancer energy can bring about overthinking, or over-analyzing things. (Yup! Feeling that big time right now!) During June’s Super New Moon, I have read that you may feel encouraged to express any deeper, hidden emotions, and to speak up if you have something to share. Which is why I chose to use my blog as a platform for my current emotional release.
What has been weighing heavy on my heart lately, and my purpose for sharing my emotions with you, is my experiences in dating - in this era.
I have been single for roughly five years now. It has been a beautiful journey of growth, loneliness, and taking the time to get to know myself on a deeper level. This last year and an half, I have been feeling like I am at a point in my life where I am ready to share myself and start a new journey with someone. During this time, it hasn’t been so easy to find that person who I truly connect with on that deeper level.
I know dating is a journey within itself, and I have been accepting that this is just another growing pain in my life’s journey.
I’m going to share with you my dating experiences over the course of the last year and a half, and how the process of getting to truly know someone has been difficult for me.
I’ve experienced a sense of disconnect with men, which I don’t understand, given all the technology that is around us; which facilitates us to be able to communicate more. I have stepped outside my comfort zone and I have asked men out, but felt like at times, certain men have been more non-responsive. It’s ok to tell me you are not interested, don't worry my ego might be bruised for a short period, but I’ll get over it. :-)
Also, I’ve learned of this new thing called being ‘ghosted.’ It’s when you are talking to someone and everything seems to be going great, and then you never hear from them again. This probably affects me (my ego) the most, my ego screams things like - “How rude can this person be, and this person lacks some serious empathy for others feelings!!” Now, I let my ego shout her pissed off energy, but then I learn from it, and I thank the Universe for taking that person out of my life, because they were not suppose to be there for the long haul.
I do question myself and my own energy I am emitting in the Universe - I ask myself, ‘Why am I attracting disconnected people?’ This question I will let evolve and trust that the Universe is guiding me in the right direction.
I have an abundance of gratitude towards my experiences and the emotions of my ego. I feel little by little I am learning to master my fiery emotions, and learn to connect them to a place of love and positivity instead of angry and rejection.
Through this dating journey, I have realized the more I open my heart into the world in finding my soul-mate, the more I learn more about myself in a different light.
I am learning to differentiate my ego from my heart connection. The ego comes from a place of overthinking, not feeling worthy, rejection, and negative thoughts. A heart connection is coming from a place of self-love, forgivingness, and gratitude.
From this experience, I am learning to be patient. I am learning the beauty in being vulnerable. That when I get turned down it’s a blessing. It is also clear to me that through this process I am planting a seed of knowing what my soul truly needs in a partnership.
And most of all I am learning that I am worthy and I love myself.
I believe that we have many soul-mates, and they do not just come in the form of lovers. They can come in the form of friends, family, and animals. I am lucky enough to say I have one of each in my life.
Love will always be present in my soul. I know there is that special someone out there, the Universe is waiting for the right moment for us to cross paths.
If this post resonates with you, just know that this is your journey, be present in the emotions that come up, and enjoy the growth you will discover within yourself. There is a reason we go through everything in our life. Listen closely and you will discover all the answers are within you.
This has been a healing process for me to be able to share my story with you all!
Thank you for reading, and if you like to share your journey comment below .
Peace & Love,
❤ Kaitlyn ❤